Women’s Day!

Do we really need a separate day for women?

Yes we do.

Because we still need to educate the world…

…that it is not a woman’s fault if she is raped.

…that there is nothing wrong with a woman who chooses to be single.

…that there is nothing wrong with a woman who chooses to not have children.

…that it is okay if a woman has chosen to get divorced.

…that daughters are just as good as sons.

…that just because a woman may wear what she wants to attract admiring looks, doesn’t mean she wants to be touched without permission.

…that a woman who is assertive and knows what she wants is not necessarily a bitch.

…that a widow’s life doesn’t have to end once her husband dies.

…that a woman who likes to have sex is not a slut. Especially when a man doing the same is considered a stud.

…that if a woman chooses to sleep with a man, it doesn’t mean she has given him and his friends permission to film it.

…that if a woman chooses to drink and smoke, it doesn’t make her any worse than a man doing the same. 

…that if a woman gets drunk, it is not an open invitation to have sex with her.

…that a woman who works full-time despite having children is not a bad mother. No matter what the ‘experts’ say.

…that a woman who is a stay-at-home-mum by choice is not a curse on woman-hood.

…that women do not need to be isolated when menstruating on a monthly basis and are not ‘impure’.

…that a husband or boyfriend does not have the right to hit his wife or girlfriend.

…that without women, the world would not exist. After all, men can’t continue the human race on their own!

So yes, we still need a day to let the world know that equality does not yet exist for women in several parts of the world. While things are getting better, we still have a long way to go. To accept women as they are rather than judge them for every single thing. 

Life Goes On…

“We don’t care about people who are willing to die for us and die for people who don’t care about us”.

Every relation has a story to tell, it’s like watching a movie. Ever thought about how you met your best friend years ago, how the friend you hated the most soon became your love interest, there must be instances where it was love at first sight and also where some thought you were good fun to hang out with.

They say that friendship is the stepping stone towards love, you start with being good friends, go on coffee dates, have dinner with each other, nights are spent with conversations over the phone, you pluck flower petals and hope that the last petal would say “he/she loves me”, you are in doubt but you think it’s worth a try, so you decide to go ahead jump into the ocean of love and swim together with your loved one, life is all flowery till you realize that may be you are drowning and soon you’ll be the reason to drown the other person too, so you decide to move on in life till you find some other life boat who’ll get you out of this mess, so does that make you a Bitch or the opposite person an Asshole?

We often forget that it all started with being friends and maybe the love part of it has got over but friendship still remains alive…

As life goes on, we begin and end a few relations, some by choice and some forcefully, but there are some people whom we just don’t want to let go, as they tend to occupy a very special place in our heart. It’s all about a matter of time, all we need is just little bit of understanding as to what we expect out of ourselves and people around us and things will fall in place.

Sometimes we just need to distance ourselves from everybody just to get to know ourselves better, if they care, they’ll understand and if they don’t, you know where you stand!!

Life is like a roller coaster ride, whether you choose to scream or enjoy the ride is your choice!!!

Train of Thoughts

•  What weighs most upon your mind may be a manifestation of your own fears. 
•  Never hesitate to speak your mind for the fear of ruffling feathers. 
•  Relations and rituals make life beautiful. 
•  Every woman must pamper herself and make time for herself.
•  I believe in the power of praying and chanting. I personally feel that these are great ways of disciplining your internal world.
• All of us are quick at labeling people but these labels are really unnecessary. There is more to us than short, tall, fat, size zero, dusky, skinny, upper class, middle class, outgoing, reserved, gay, straight, black, white, etc.
• It is okay to be less than perfect.
• Watch your actions. Whatever you give out comes back to you, multiplied.
• Expose yourself to new books, new music, different foods, different drinks, new restaurants.
• Being busy keeps depressing, negative thoughts at bay. Get busy!
• Don’t make your partner feel tied up like a donkey to a stake. It is emotional rape. Give them space for heaven’s sake.

• I have been making attempts to move out of my comfort zone.
• Sooner or later, every storm fades away.
• Learning something new each day is a wonderful feeling. It makes you feel alive.
• Beauty is destined to fade.
• Occasionally, it is fantastic to get bored. Spare some time to get bored. Do nothing at all!
• Being emotionally dependent on someone can make life miserable. Invest in your personal growth.
• It is okay to say NO to something that does not resonate with your sensibilities.
• Donate old clothes. Give them to the less fortunate - to those who really need it.
• Reading- I love to get lost in books, magazines and newspapers.
• Walking- I walk to feel good about myself.
• Music- Takes me to a different world- a state of Trance.
• Water- I like to keep myself hydrated – it restores the glow on my face.
• My belief in God stands rock-solid irrespective of what happens in my life.
• Watching the sun sink from the glistening sky is a beautiful experience.
• Do not be tied down in a relationship/career/job that is unhealthy, that freezes your mind and blocks your progress.
• Some experiences can be emotionally devastating but they eventually make you stronger.

 

Realisation

Things are changing every split second and my tiny brain gets confused with a lot of cell diffusions happening constantly. I promise I am not going to talk like a spiritual saint, but just a few things that I realised off late.

As time passes by, I see a lot of people doing things and hovering around people for their own gain, also with a specific goal in their mind, well and good, it’s just that I have tried doing something like this for personal favours but it never gives me inner peace… Why should I follow the crowd? According to one of my friend, professional relations are way better than emotional bonds, well, this topic is pretty debatable so let’s not get into that, but after constant attempts of trying to do something which does not make me happy is not such a good idea, so the answer to that is simple.. I won’t try any further.

Also at times like this when I feel like a complete loser, God decides to take a disguised form and gives me a reason to smile.

After constant mistakes and learnings, I have decided to try to implement a few things:

~Do what I believe in.

~Connect to my inner voice.

~Work hard and if it come across failure, I would give it one big hug..

~Try not to crib and see good qualities in people always (very difficult to implement)

~Try my best at what I want to do and then leave the rest on Destiny!!!

~Find more reasons to be happy.

~NEVER QUIT!!

Love and its Shades !!

Is it not a reason enough to be happy that you fall in love with someone? That you felt those butterflies flying inside your stomach? That how you got dumbstruck when your love stood in front of you? How your heart beats faster when you see him/her smiling?

That feeling so innocent like a smile of an infant. A smile so pure like this moonlight. A Love so refreshing like the smell of first rain…so calm like these nights. Have you felt that innocent smile on your face while thinking about him? That madness to have your love by your side? Have you ever walked with your love holding hands together on an unknown path?

Love could be defined in tens of languages… by hundreds of writers in thousands of poems…but its feeling is same…its magic is same. Those twinkle in your eyes…that glow on your face…that satisfaction of your heart after listening his/her voice. You may argue about the other side but you can’t deny its magic.. you can’t get yourself away from its tranquil feeling.

Love can never be planned…its just a matter of click..it just happen..without your consent. That moment is magical…and you don’t even know you are falling in this ocean. It surprise you with its madness…it amazes you with its force. For a few it’s just a word…and for others it’s Life. Some define it with words and some just by a smile.

We seek love in different things… Ever seen a baby smiling? That’s love! Ever felt rain with closed eyes? That’s Love! Ever laughed with tears? That’s Love! Ever felt happy with no certain reason? That’s Love! Some feel it in flowing rivers…some in still mountains. Some find it inside them…some say it’s all around. Few moments of love makes you smile…while few makes you cry…but the feeling is always beautiful….it is Magical!

Don’t forget to tell your special someone what they mean to you.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the readers of Flavours of life!

Perfection!

We live in a day and age when everything and everyone is expected to be perfect. We are told we need to look a certain way, we need to dress a certain way, love a certain way, have a relationship a certain way, live a certain way. And of course, almost every one of us strives to attain this illusion of perfection. Given that it is an illusion, we never reach perfection. At least to the standard it is portrayed. The end result is mental health issues like depression and anxiety.

Who dictates these standards of perfection to us? I’d like to blame the media.

How many men and women beat themselves up for not having the ‘perfect’ body like the person shown on telly? Apparently for women, size zero is perfect. After all, why would the media attack any model or actress who seemed to be less than perfect? And in countries like India, where perfect looks is equal to fair skin. What does that do to the masses that are dark-skinned?

Perfect relationships. Hollywood, Bollywood and every other media loves to show us how perfect relationships ‘should’ be. And you grow up with expectations as ridiculous as ‘there is only one soulmate in the world’ or ‘my partner should say he loves me every few hours’ or ‘my boyfriend should surprise me with breakfast in bed on the weekend’ and ways of how someone should propose to you.

There are hardly any fights in a relationship at the movies. Real life though, is different. I think the classic mistake about perfection in relationships is how movies depict that the guy or girl just knows what the other partner wants. If you think about it realistically, how many guys actually know a girl would be happy if they cleaned up after themselves??? Some guys need telling. As do some girls. But Hollywood and Bollywood would like us to believe that relationships work on ESP.

There is so much pressure on Parents to be the ‘perfect’ parent and raise well-behaved kids and yet struggle with work and the house.

Now you know why so many people suffer from mental health problems at least once in their lives.

I wish as a society we would realise that perfection is a myth. No one on this planet is perfect. Not a single person. And trust me, if anyone says they are, they are lying and showing false colors. Everyone thinks every one else is perfect. I’m not so perfect after all and I do have issues too!

Striving for that elusive perfection only makes us miserable. It doesn’t mean we don’t do our best. We just have different expectations. We can always strive to do the best we can. But it doesn’t have to be the same ‘best’ or the ‘perfect’ that is bombarded by the media.

If only more people realised that, we would all be more relaxed and the world would probably be a happier place.

Being perfect in every way is nothing but a fake appearance.

What are your views? Are you one of those individuals who is depressed or anxious in some way for not attaining perfection in any particular area in your life? Do share…

The Rapid Fire Round

Picked up this tag randomly. Here we go!!!

 

Love or Lust – Love!

Food or Makeup – Food! Oh, I am feeling hungry again!

Jeans or Skirt – Jeans! But I love skirts too!

Pizza or Pasta – Pizza, anytime!

Black or White – Black!

Gucci or Dior – Dior!

Husband or Boyfriend – Live in!

Roses or orchids –  Roses – sigh.. red and pink!

Beauty or Brains – Brains!

Beach or Hills – Beach! I’ve had enough of Hills for now…!

Cats or Dogs – Cats

Tea or coffee – Coffee!

Books or i-Pod – i-Pod

Flats or stilettos – I luv my Flats! And I love my stilettos! In that order! Or is it the other way round?

Jalebi or Rasgulla – Roshogolla! yummy types!

 

Oh, that was a really quick one! Pick it up! And if you do, drop a link in the comment section – will hop over for a read.

And Yet…

A life so full..

..And yet, so empty.

People all around me..

..And yet, I feel lonely.

I am confident..

..And yet, I crumble.

I want to speak out..

..And yet, words stumble.

I have so much..

..And yet, I’m unsatisfied.

I long for a change..

..And yet, I’m terrified.

From Being a Victim to a Winner

It happens with almost all of us that something undesirable happens and we start finding  reasons to blame things on other people , situation or circumstances. It somehow gives us a kind of consolation. We think of so many reasons as why it happened to us and then we stick to couple of them  that we find most convincing. We often love to think and talk about our victim story. Let’s see how our victim self thinks and talks -

– I cannot find a job because job market is bad. ( ==> I will not find a job)

– I am not getting promotion at work because my manager doesn’t like me. (==>I will not get a promotion)

–  I am unhappy in my life because my girl friend dumped me and I lost my job.(==> I will stay unhappy)

– I cannot top this year because everybody in my batch is more intelligent than I am. (==> I will not get top position)

– If you can’t think of any reason and you will simply think that your luck is bad. (==> I will wait for my luck to get better)

When you blame things on others , it makes you feel like a victim. You feel weak and powerless. You feel like a victim to your destiny and life. It’s fine to think of reasons but  if you take the responsibility of everything that happens to you instead of blaming things on other people and circumstances you will feel immense power which will turn you from a victim to a winner. There is a lot of difference between taking the blame on you and taking the responsibility. You never have to blame yourself for what is happening to you.

You don’t have the control on what happens with you but what distinguish a winner from a loser is how you react to what happens with you. You have the complete control on how you react to things. You know its you who has to do something about it instead of waiting for situation or your luck to change. You will see your mind working toward the solution, towards making you a winner.

Let’s see when you take the responsibility ,how your winner mind will  think in the above situations-

– Job market is bad and I have to work harder to get  a job.

– My manager doesn’t like me much , I have to put extra efforts to get appreciated by him and others.

–  Now that my girl friend is not with me and I have lost my job, I have to find another girl friend and a job.

– There is very tough competition in the class, I have to work really hard to be on the top position.

–Tough times don’t last but tough people do.

Next time when you see yourself thinking or talking about  your victim story, end it right away. Irrespective of what situation you are in, take the responsibility of your life, take the charge of your life and be a winner !!

You Can Mislead the World, You Cannot Escape Karma

Next time you do something that goes contrary to your conscience, spare some thought.

EVERY action, good or bad, evil or kind has a consequence.

For instance, if you bring misery upon someone, it will come back to you MULTIPLIED, in this lifetime or in successive births, come, it will. What goes around definitely comes around – it is my driving belief.

You cannot get away with your wrong deeds, you just cannot escape the shackles of Karma. You can deceive the world; however, you cannot deceive your conscience and you certainly cannot escape Karma. The law of Karma spares none!

I am convinced that I have done good deeds in my past life because I’m born to beautiful parents in this life. I couldn’t have asked God for better parents; I belong to a wonderful family and I attribute it to Karma! I am sure I have been a good person in my past life that I am reaping the benefits in this life.

Yes, bad things happen to good people and the only logical explanation for it is Karma! And this is my personal belief. Contrary to popular perception, Karma is not about punishment and reward; simply, it is about the consequences of your actions.

I believe in the law of cause and effect – As you sow, so shall you reap!