Archive for November, 2011

Your Rights in A Relationship

~ To be able to express your views without the fear of negative repercussions even if they are different than others. You have right to your thoughts.

~ You can express your differences without fear. You can decide I will not do ______, I will wear______, I will meet ______ because you feel it is right.

~ You can expect to receive clear answers to the questions that are your legitimate concern.

~ The right to live free of fear, criticism, accusation, blame , threats, judgment and unsolicited advice.

~ The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage. You are not responsible for another person’s behavior.

~ The right to end the relationship without fear.

~ The right to be free from unsolicited phone calls, stalking and nasty rumors about you. You can seek protection from law.

~ You are an adult and are able to make your decisions.


Practice this script until you are comfortable saying it aloud to the other person. 

Love is never disrespectful, if it is then it is not Love. Think it over. You deserve better.

The Power Of Positive Thinking

Positive thinking, in it’s most simplistic form is all about attitude. It can make you a winner or a loser. Whatever you think you can do or you cannot, you are right! Your thoughts and attitude control your destiny.

Attitude should be more important than facts. More important than education, money, circumstances,success and failure. Neither can we change our past nor can we change the fact that people will act in a certain way. But we do have a choice regarding the attitude. Attitude is all in the mind. Your mind should be intelligently cultivated or it will run wild. You should develop strength of character. People will admire you for that.

Positive thinking should always be followed by actions in order to fulfill your true potential. Life is all about how you feel about yourself, whether you are born to riches or poverty. Do not approach anything with a half mind. Learn to trust yourself and give life everything you have. You will make mistakes, but then you are human. Learn from those mistakes and believe that impossible is doable. The only thing is that it takes a little longer. So attitude is everything.

Start your day expressing gratitude to the almighty. Thank him for everything. Find something good about starting your day. Spend some time with your spouse. Have breakfast together, talk and smile to one another. Spend some time on your appearance. Taking care of your appearance makes you feel more confident. Watch your words and thoughts. Start building more positive thoughts. Think a certain thought for 17 seconds and it becomes a fixed belief and more positive thoughts will follow. But this requires practice. We all are hardwired to think negative. But the change can be caused by you and your own thoughts. Start practicing by feeling something good to say about yourself everyday.

Do not let others attitude to affect your own. Everyone is different and has the right to be in a mood of their own, just like you. We don’t have any control over them but we can certainly influence their attitude. Make positive thinking a habit and soon you will see that it is contagious. Positive thoughts bring in personal growth and success.

Be persistent in your positive attitude no matter what happens. Practice, practice, practice. The best part is that we think all the time, as human beings. Train yourself to think in the correct way. Change your thoughts and you change your emotions. Tell yourself everyday that tomorrow will be a better day.


Thankfulness and Patience!

“Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things might seem, do not enter the neighbourhood of despair. Even when all doors remained closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful! It is easy to be thankful when all is well. A Sufi is thankful not only for what he has been given but also for all that he has been denied. “


“Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be shortsighted as to not able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never runs out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full”

You are in the Right Situation.

Some flowers grow best in the Sun while others do well in Shade.

Remember, we are put where we grow the best and accordingly we get people and situations to grow with


A lot of times we get this question : “Why I am in this situation when others are in a better one”. The quote above explains a lot. We all have different lessons to learn to grow. A dishonest man needs to learn what is honesty while a greedy man needs to learn how to be generous.

Sometimes I think the whole nature is so perfect. There is a perfect rhythm and balance in all the things in nature. Only a prefect one can design such a perfect system and how can that perfect one put us in a wrong situation. At times things seem bad but when you look back you know there was a good reason why that happened. I feel when we accept what we have and where we are, the intense peace and power that we get enable us to overcome the toughest situation in life.

May we all realize that life is fair and we are always in the right situation.

Lessons Learned

1. Invest in yourself.

2. Never lose sight of your own goals; never put anyone else above YOU.

3. Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you become your reality.

4. Never discuss personal problems with someone you are getting to know, especially family problems. These problems are best discussed with bankable, non-judgemental school friends and college friends.

5. Bad things do happen to good people.

6. Never compare yourself with anyone.

7. There are always going to be people who’ll disagree with you. You can’t please everyone.

8. Life is rarely exactly the way you want it to be.

9. Talk less, listen more.

10. Always leave office on time. Don’t sit back after office hours. There’s something like ‘personal life’, ‘balanced life’.

11. Any disturbance in the mind causes disturbance in the body.

12. It is absolutely beautiful to be different. Express your individuality- dare to be different!

13. Your problems are ONLY yours. No one really gives a hoot! (Reminds me of this popular quote- Never discuss your problems with anyone. 20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them).

14. Money CAN buy happiness- to quite an extent. MONEY TALKS!

15. Age is just a number. It’s all in the mind. You are as young as you feel.

16. Step out of your comfort zone.

17. It is very important for a woman to be financially independent, irrespective of her background.

18. Ask for what you want. If you don’t ask, you won’t receive.

19. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Believe in yourself.

20. A rich man’s joke is ALWAYS funny.

Gray Zones!

It is so amazing to see how different people are from each other and from themselves as well!!

There is never really anything absolute about life. No one’s absolutely right, no one’s absolutely wrong, no one’s absolutely good and no one’s absolutely bad either. We all live in a gray zone and keep moving from different shades of black and white. And amidst such huge variations, my mind asks me, how should I make opinions about people? Then the other thought that comes should I be making any opinion, at all? It’s not because of my indifference, but because of people’s inconsistency that I face this dilemma. One day someone appears to be so genuine, another day you see something negative about him or her. You do not want to forget the good part and you could not forget the bad one! Conclusively, you do not know which part dominates.

More you know a person, more you find variations in his/her grey zone. If they are close to you, you know that their fluctuations from black to white directly affects you. You know you have to tap with the rhythm and needless to say you have a gray zone of your own too.

Honestly speaking, I am never really interested in knowing what happens in the deep-burrow of a person’s heart and mind. For me, actions and words have always mattered more than the claims that somebody is good or bad from heart. I find it difficult to believe that people could display contradicting character and actions for a very long time. How can a person with an extremely foul mouth can really have a golden heart; and one with so called bad heart could try to be nice to you always? Persistent actions by a person make it reasonable clear to me how much he or she dwells in which shade of his grayness.

The people with inconsistent mix of goodness and badness appear more trustworthy, because I can relate to them. I get kinda apprehensive when surrounded by extremely nice people. May be because I do not understand how should I deal with them. They have not done anything to betray me and at the same time they make me vulnerable! I would like to believe that there are really nice people in world, who always think nice, talk nice and behave nice. I, too, aspire to be one of them, but I don’t want loads of them around me.

Its easier to deal with bad people than the good ones. You know you can hit back bad guys, but what to do with these good ones?

How to be happy :)

Some time back I learnt a very nice theory.. If you really think about it , it will make lot of sense.

We each have a wide range of concerns – our health, our family, problems at work etc., and it is these things that make up our ‘Circle of Concern’. As we look at the things within our Circle of Concern, it becomes apparent that there are some things over which we have no real control and others that we can do something about. We can group the things we can do something about within a ‘Circle of Influence’. The two circles are shown below:

The Circle of Concern is filled with the have’s:

  •  If only I had a more patient spouse…’
  •  ‘If only I had better employees/co-workers…’
  •  If only I had a boss who wasn’t so demanding…’

The Circle of Influence is filled with the be’s:

  • ‘I can be more patient…’

  • ‘I can be a better employee…’

  • ‘I can be more wise…’

Effective people focus their efforts in their Circle of Influence and do not get stressed or waste time on the things within their Circle of Concern. They work on the things they can do something about and the nature of their energy is positive and enlarging. There are things (like the weather) that our Circle of Influence will never include. We can’t change the weather, but we can create and carry our own physical or social weather with us. We must accept the things that at present we can’t control and focus our efforts on the things that we can.

The Circle of Influence grows and shrinks. The more you work within your Circle of Influence the larger it will become and you will be become more effective as a result. The opposite is also true. Focusing on your Circle of Concern can shrink your Circle of Influence and therefore your ability to change things for the better.

So guys, to be happy

* Don’t work on things that lie outside your influence.

* Put all your energies on things inside circle of influence and try to increase it.

* Identify what lies inside circle of influence and what inside circle of concern.

Try this for 30 days and trust me you will feel the difference 🙂

Stay positive and keep smiling !!

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