Archive for December, 2011

Fear is Not for Me

If we start believing on this thing ‘Fear is not for me‘, then no power in this world except destiny can stop us from reaching our goals and moreover destiny also supports people who fight with diversities without fear.

Fear is the biggest back puller in world. Many talented people are not able to rise above in their life only due to this fear. Fear even eats our dreams and makes only small things. The other disadvantage with fear is that it starts eating us from inside i.e. making our health worse. Due to fear many people restore to constant thinking and finally generates hypertension and in the end diseases like diabetics and cardiac disorders.

Why fear and from whom fear? Except destiny no one can change our fate. No person in this world, how much he may be strong can not hurt us, unless we give him chance to hurt us. For fighting our fears, we need positive approach towards life and hard work for achieving goals because people have so much fears in their life.

Christmas – A Possibility

It’s the same time of year again, December has come and with it has brought all the joys of Christmas. The Christmas celebration is associated with different traditions but what is the real meaning of Christmas? I have tried to explore it a bit.

It is a symbol of the togetherness and also for expressing good will to others. It is a time of God showing His great love for us. It can be a time of healing and renewed strength. It is a time to express gratitude, are we generous with the gifts that have been given to us, seeing ourselves as their stewards and not their owners? Not only cleaning and lighting the corners of our house but also cleaning and lighting deep, dark corners of our hearts. To wake up and realize the gifts of love we have received, waking up to the subconscious and spiritual depths of ourselves.

This Christmas let us clean out our system and follow few new realms of possibility:

• Tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.
• Ability to enjoy each moment.
• Loss of interest in judging other people.
• Loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
• Loss of interest in conflict.
• Loss of the ability to worry.
• Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
• Frequent attacks of smiling.
• An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

Wishing you all a Blessed Christmas !!

Destiny controls you or you control destiny ???

I have seen so many people saying “I make my own destiny” , “If you can’t predict future, invent future” . These quotes look so impressive but is it true ? Can you really make your destiny? Infact can you even change your destiny? I often wonder if there is something called destiny and can we control/change it as per our needs and answer I get back from myself is “NO” . I might be wrong and yes it depends on one’s perspective too.

I don’t believe in the following :

* Just sit idle and expect to get something great because its in your destiny.
* Leave your house unlocked, nobody would steal anything because its not destined to happen.
* Jump from a moutain and you won’t get hurt because its not destined to happen.
* Don’t study for your entrance exam and you will clear it because its destined to happen.

But I do believe in the following :
* You won’t sit idle even if others force you too if u have to get something great.
* You won’t leave your house unlocked, because theft is not destined to happen because of your carelessness.
* You won’t jump from a mountain, because you are not destined to get hurt by jumping from a mountain.
* You would definitely study for your entrance because you are destined to clear it.

For all those who believe that  “there is nothing like destiny and if at all its there then you can control it ” , how do you control/change destiny in following cases –

* You want to become a doctor, you gave your best shot, dropped for three consecutive years but still you couldn’t clear it. Not that you were not capable of getting it but some unfortunate things happened like in one year mom died, second year dad had a fracture and in the third year papers got leaked.

* You wanted to become a pilot but you lose your vision in one accident.

* You love someone so much , marry him after going againt the whole world and that person dies second day after the marriage while going to his office.

* You want something very badly but can’t get it because of some unfortunate reasons.

Most of the things I mentioned above are not fake. They do happen. So what do people mean when they say  “You can make/change your destiny?”

I think all of these are in your circle of concern but outside circle of influence.

How to Improve Your Life

1. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

2. Don’t have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

3. Don’t overdo; keep your limits.

4. Don’t take yourself so seriously; no one else does.

5. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.

6. Dream more while you are awake.

7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

8. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner of his/ her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.

10. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

11. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

12. Smile and laugh more.

13. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

 14. Each day give something good to others.

15. Forgive everyone for everything.

16. What other people think of you is none of your business.

17. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

 18. Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.

19. GOD heals everything.

20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

22. The best is yet to come.

23. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

24. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.

25. If you know GOD, you will always be happy. So, be happy.

While you practice all of the above, share this knowledge with the people you love. Not only will it enrich YOUR life, but also that of those around you… 🙂


Life is all about expectations. Expectations with oneself, with one’s partner, with one’s children, and so on. And, from where are these expectations culled from? Sometimes, sources as vague as movies, magazines, other’s experiences, and books. 

All of us are projecting an image. People have expectations from relationships based upon the books they read or the movies they see. Come on, in real life, it does not work that way. Can I look dreamy eyed around my husband all the while, perfectly made up and smiling. I cannot! So, can I expect him to be lovey dovey and romantic all the time like the movies. Of course, not. Remember movie stars are paid to do that :). They wouldn’t be doing all that for their wives or girlfriends, you can be sure. And, these scams are responsible and successfully run by greeting card companies, jewelry makers etc. and influencing the minds of the young to behave in a particular way.

In magazines and books, you see thin models, and you embark upon desperate measures to become slim, sometimes dangerous ones like fad dieting adversely affecting your health.  What we don’t realize is that most of these people are miracles of cosmetic surgery, advances in make up, lighting and extraordinary clothes. See them in real life, and you might need to run for cover :). Please be realistic about what is healthy and what makes you look good.

It is important to separate the fiction from reality. Somewhere in the rush to demand, we are all forgiving to give, to forgive, and leaving permanent fissures in our relationships. Never say that I miss those initial days of dating or marriage. Ok, you may say that but don’t go into depression feeling that something must have gone wrong for you not to stay perpetually in that first flush of love. I remember someone said that those were just the trailers or the best portions of the movie. When you actually live a life together, it is the actual movie, which plays out with all its flaws and its beauty. The problem does not lie with the movie but in our expectations. So get real, and life does become so much more fun and enjoyable 🙂

Living Longer with Positive Thinking

If you want to live a longer life, start with positive thinking. Learning how to be an optimist can make your heart and your mind healthier. A positive thinker is always better equipped with significantly stronger immune system, as it increases your white blood cell count which helps you fight off infection and disease. Specifically, if you’re optimistic towards your life, the world would become a beautiful masterpiece of art, or else, the world would appear scary and horrible for those who have more negative thought patterns.

Positive Thinking: Tips for Maintaining Optimism
To maintain positive thinking you need to pay attention to basic needs such as getting enough rest, proper nutrition, exercise, stress reduction, and health care. It means keeping your life in balance. Here are some tips for keeping a positive outlook:
Let it out–  Keeping feelings of sadness, anger, or guilt bottled up inside is unhealthy. Talk to a friend or loved one. Write it on a piece of paper and burn it after reading it aloud; or shout it out but get your feelings out in the open where you can deal with them and complete with them forever.

Replace negative thinking with positive thinking–  People who are optimistic are able to reframe negatives into positives. Practicing this kind of positive spin will eventually make it automatic. Since there are no absolute truths, consider your life story. Do you want it to be a positive one or a tragic one?

Learn to deal with stress–  Some stress is inevitable. Learn to handle it in a positive way. Exercise sheds stress, releases endorphins, helps you focus, creates personal empowerment, and boosts the immune system. Having a good social support system, accepting change, and keeping life in perspective are other ways people can deal with stress and maintain positive thinking.

Be a survivor–  Life is both magic and tragic. We all have to face loss, failure, and disappointment sometimes. People who are optimistic find a way to recover. They develop adaptability. Life is a series of recoveries. When you understand this premise, you believe that you will get through your obstacles and emerge stronger with experience and empowerment to navigate the next challenge.

Create time for fun–  Positive thinking and joy go together. Instead of an endless to-do list, pursue a creative hobby to fill any loss or grief you are experiencing. Activate your sense of fun. Laughter is your inner treadmill and it breaks negativity instantly. Laugh on small things, spend time with kids or pets, have fun.

Take good care of yourself–  People who are optimistic don’t neglect their physical health. To enjoy anything else in the whole world, whether a meal, a car, a house or a relationship, you need to be healthy first- and if it’s that important, let’s do some additional effort to keep it right.

Positive thinking and optimism really do contribute to a longer, healthier life. Avoid the false sense of optimism offered by drugs and alcohol. These solutions to stress only cause more problems in the long run. Positive thinking provides its own rewards, so take responsibility for your thoughts. As the great William Shakespeare once wrote, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

I realize it is not how long you live but how intensely you live, in terms of appreciating your life and living life to the fullest, living positively.

It Refreshes my Soul!

Snow! It refreshes my soul. 

“Though our sins are as scarlet (red),They will be as white as snow” – that’s the verse I am reminded of whenever I see snow. I feel so fresh and clean all over again…

It is all white and looks so beautiful that I imagine heaven to be as beautiful as snow! Is there anything whiter than snow you have come across?! Not me!

Snow is the whitest – the purest of all existing things I have seen under the sun… It brings such joy and reminds me of the generosity of God’s love. It is done so effortlessly, so evenly and so beautifully… Snow showers without any partiality on the rich and the poor, the young and the old, the dark and the fair and everyone in between – just like the love of God… the love that surpasses all ups and downs in my life – the love that fills my inner being with sheer joy & delight – the love that reaches out to the deepest corners of my heart and wipes off the rarest tear drop – the abundant overflowing love of God!


It refreshes my soul! The Love of God!

Stop Thinking and Start Living!

When you feel bad, you will have the tendency to come up with a theory as to why you feel the way you do. Without knowing the actual cause, it makes sense to create a reason. As long as you can create reasons for your depression – your marital status, your job, your children, your genes, your financial situation, your future, and so forth – you can maintain the false hope that things will get better when…But you can probably see that, in actuality, this is not true. The mindset that says ‘Life will be better when…’ will create further conditions that must be met as soon as the initial conditions are satisfied. You need only to look at the countless times in your life that you received what you wanted – and happiness still eluded you – to realize that changing your circumstances isn’t the answer to your problems. If it were, you’d already be happy! You wanted to graduate, you graduated. You wanted a mate, you got one. You wanted a pet, you got one. You wanted a pay-check, you got one. And so on. Tens of thousands of times in your life you got exactly what you wanted and yet you’re still unhappy!

The solution is to have the humility to admit that all along you have been creating your own pain through your own thinking. Don’t worry; almost everyone else is doing the same thing. The good news is that as soon as you see that this is true, you’ll be on your way to a far better life. No matter how depressed you have been, or how long you have been depressed, the moment you can see that it’s only your thinking that is holding your depression in place, you’re on your way to freedom.

On Self Control

The more control we have over ourselves and our lives, the happier and free we will feel. We sometimes get angry with other people. This probably happens because they have not met our expectations or we were trying to control them and they have not let us. Sometimes, the simple expectation that a person should behave as we want them to is in itself an attempt to control them. When we try to control another person, which is impossible, we are bound to fail, feel frustrated and stressed.

We are capable of having power over ourselves; we can be more responsible for our thoughts and feelings. We have the capacity to choose how we respond to different situations and people that we come across in our lives. If we do not exercise much control over our thoughts and emotions, we easily fall into the tendency of seeing ourselves as victimized, and we blame others, making them responsible in our own minds for how we feel. When we do this, we are forgetting that we create our own thoughts. When this happens, we are handing over the control of our thoughts to those who influence, criticize, attack or slander us. If we want to recover the control over our life, we must learn to control our thoughts and feelings and not blame anyone else for them. The more self-control we have over ourselves, the less we will want to control others and our capacity to influence other people positively will be greater.

Love Yourself !!

1. Stop all criticism: Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

2. Don’t scare yourself: Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

3. Be gentle and kind and patient: Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

4. Be kind to your mind: Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change the thoughts.

5. Praise yourself: Criticism breaks the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

6. Support yourself: Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends, and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

7. Be loving to your negatives: Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So. lovingly release the old negative patterns.

8. Take care of your body: Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

9. Mirror work: Look into your own eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say: “I love you, I really love you!”

10. LOVE YOURSELF – DO IT NOW! Don’t wait until you get well or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin NOW – do the best you can.

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