Archive for the ‘Relationship’ Category

Dear Son, Understand this about Women!

I don’t care whether or not the world considers me special or extra ordinary.

I’m not sure whether I can be a role model to my child. I can only strive to give him values quite lost today.

It angers me to see the brutality and inhumane level to which we have reached as humans. And it becomes utmost important to gather the broken pieces and ingrain the new values which were not taught well to the men of our generation and the ones previous to them.

Here I stand to let my son know:

-It is an inherent tendency of a woman to multiply. You give a woman even 10% of your love she would quadruple it 100 times by strengthening it into a lifetime relationship. But YOU have to offer TRUE LOVE.

-Never ever treat a woman in any way which asks her to sacrifice on your conditions. She will passionately take care of you and will always be there to support you. But don’t you ever, ever take these qualities for granted.

-If it’s there, tell her. If it’s not there, then surely tell her: truth, truth and truth. Never play around with anyone. Karma will come back to you. I have seen it coming back on many people and it does not see how well you are placed and what you think about it. It will come and it gets you.

-Whichever school you might go to and whatever superior education you get there. You will be defined by your actions. Yes. Show respect. Become a man of actions and not words. You would not need to utter a word. Women are capable of letting the world know when a gentleman is around.

-The Indian tradition of a girl leaving her family and coming to her husband’s house is totally ancient. Think out of the box. Do something different. And if the social circle still insists you, work your way around it. Her parents are as elemental as yours. Respect them the way you respect yours. Where many children are left orphaned, it’s only a blessing to get two set of parents in one lifetime.

-Respect the women whom you are committed with and you will never ever fail. Mark my words in gold.

Remember, respecting a woman is more beautiful than telling her she is beautiful.

Go ahead Son, make your Mommy proud!👍

Journey from Corporate to Motherhood!

My day no more starts with a rush for the office cab and no more presentation to make. I don’t think more about what’s cooking inside my boss’s head and no worries about getting my leaves approved. I don’t have performance matrix to fill and competency scores to prove my worth. I don’t care about why other employees get a better salary hike and not me despite of the hard work I put round the year. So does it mean that life has become simpler? Not indeed but still I’m loving it. . It’s been months since I left my job, but I have actually turned into a full time mother and trust me that’s a competitive job too.

There is an excitement when my baby smiles at my good morning gesture and how he rush to me when I extend my arms towards him. My day doesn’t start at 9, never ends at 6 but it’s in a continuing pace to fulfill desires, expectations and pampering of my little one.

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Being a mother there are so many things to do and you remain occupied 24X7. Earlier I had other things to glorify my day but today if my baby has successfully completed his 3 meals, my achievement is done. My calendar is constantly booked with his oil massage, splendor bath, a healthy-meal preparation, a fun-filled stroller ride and series of lullabies to offer. Now I have to discover new ways to draw out his smile even when my back is paining and eyes are melting with sleep. I can’t show my frustration to him as he is too innocent to bear that. So I have to always present my brighter side to him. There has been a shortage of time always but there is no excuse that I can make today. And the most important thing above all, I had expectations from my previous life: monetary, social and physiological but with him – It’s just unconditional love !!

Motherhood, God’s Blessing!

When I hold my child, I know there are so many people who would love to be in my shoes. And I realise how truly blessed I am to be a mom.

picture of happy mother with baby

Motherhood is so much more than those dirty diapers and exhaustion from a lack of sleep. Motherhood is the job – yes, the privilege – of shaping little hearts and minds. And even beyond that, motherhood is one of God’s greatest blessings.

My baby took me to the next level of life happiness. He has given me a closeness in my life I’ve never had before. I love the responsibility I have for this new life – it’s up to me and his dad, how to love him. It’s an unconditional love. I don’t need any reward. The love that has since filled my heart, the fullness that I experience in my life, is indescribable.

Motherhood is a blessing – no matter what the circumstances you currently face.

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby

That somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother, “Normal”, is history.

 

Love and its Shades !!

Is it not a reason enough to be happy that you fall in love with someone? That you felt those butterflies flying inside your stomach? That how you got dumbstruck when your love stood in front of you? How your heart beats faster when you see him/her smiling?

That feeling so innocent like a smile of an infant. A smile so pure like this moonlight. A Love so refreshing like the smell of first rain…so calm like these nights. Have you felt that innocent smile on your face while thinking about him? That madness to have your love by your side? Have you ever walked with your love holding hands together on an unknown path?

Love could be defined in tens of languages… by hundreds of writers in thousands of poems…but its feeling is same…its magic is same. Those twinkle in your eyes…that glow on your face…that satisfaction of your heart after listening his/her voice. You may argue about the other side but you can’t deny its magic.. you can’t get yourself away from its tranquil feeling.

Love can never be planned…its just a matter of click..it just happen..without your consent. That moment is magical…and you don’t even know you are falling in this ocean. It surprise you with its madness…it amazes you with its force. For a few it’s just a word…and for others it’s Life. Some define it with words and some just by a smile.

We seek love in different things… Ever seen a baby smiling? That’s love! Ever felt rain with closed eyes? That’s Love! Ever laughed with tears? That’s Love! Ever felt happy with no certain reason? That’s Love! Some feel it in flowing rivers…some in still mountains. Some find it inside them…some say it’s all around. Few moments of love makes you smile…while few makes you cry…but the feeling is always beautiful….it is Magical!

Don’t forget to tell your special someone what they mean to you. 🙂

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the readers of Flavours of life!

Perfection!

We live in a day and age when everything and everyone is expected to be perfect. We are told we need to look a certain way, we need to dress a certain way, love a certain way, have a relationship a certain way, live a certain way. And of course, almost every one of us strives to attain this illusion of perfection. Given that it is an illusion, we never reach perfection. At least to the standard it is portrayed. The end result is mental health issues like depression and anxiety.

Who dictates these standards of perfection to us? I’d like to blame the media.

How many men and women beat themselves up for not having the ‘perfect’ body like the person shown on telly? Apparently for women, size zero is perfect. After all, why would the media attack any model or actress who seemed to be less than perfect? And in countries like India, where perfect looks is equal to fair skin. What does that do to the masses that are dark-skinned?

Perfect relationships. Hollywood, Bollywood and every other media loves to show us how perfect relationships ‘should’ be. And you grow up with expectations as ridiculous as ‘there is only one soulmate in the world’ or ‘my partner should say he loves me every few hours’ or ‘my boyfriend should surprise me with breakfast in bed on the weekend’ and ways of how someone should propose to you.

There are hardly any fights in a relationship at the movies. Real life though, is different. I think the classic mistake about perfection in relationships is how movies depict that the guy or girl just knows what the other partner wants. If you think about it realistically, how many guys actually know a girl would be happy if they cleaned up after themselves??? Some guys need telling. As do some girls. But Hollywood and Bollywood would like us to believe that relationships work on ESP.

There is so much pressure on Parents to be the ‘perfect’ parent and raise well-behaved kids and yet struggle with work and the house.

Now you know why so many people suffer from mental health problems at least once in their lives.

I wish as a society we would realise that perfection is a myth. No one on this planet is perfect. Not a single person. And trust me, if anyone says they are, they are lying and showing false colors. Everyone thinks every one else is perfect. I’m not so perfect after all and I do have issues too!

Striving for that elusive perfection only makes us miserable. It doesn’t mean we don’t do our best. We just have different expectations. We can always strive to do the best we can. But it doesn’t have to be the same ‘best’ or the ‘perfect’ that is bombarded by the media.

If only more people realised that, we would all be more relaxed and the world would probably be a happier place.

Being perfect in every way is nothing but a fake appearance.

What are your views? Are you one of those individuals who is depressed or anxious in some way for not attaining perfection in any particular area in your life? Do share…


Your Rights in A Relationship

~ To be able to express your views without the fear of negative repercussions even if they are different than others. You have right to your thoughts.

~ You can express your differences without fear. You can decide I will not do ______, I will wear______, I will meet ______ because you feel it is right.

~ You can expect to receive clear answers to the questions that are your legitimate concern.

~ The right to live free of fear, criticism, accusation, blame , threats, judgment and unsolicited advice.

~ The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage. You are not responsible for another person’s behavior.

~ The right to end the relationship without fear.

~ The right to be free from unsolicited phone calls, stalking and nasty rumors about you. You can seek protection from law.

~ You are an adult and are able to make your decisions.

 

Practice this script until you are comfortable saying it aloud to the other person. 

Love is never disrespectful, if it is then it is not Love. Think it over. You deserve better.

Develop Understanding Not Misunderstanding…

We all are blessed with a lot of beautiful relationships in our life, few are the ones we are born with and there are others that we make on our own..whatever be the name,whatever be the reason the bottom line is they all are very important to us. They are the ties that join our hearts and make us realize that we are not alone.

A friend of mine once told me “we all are capable of living alone, statements like this that we can’t live without so and so are rubbish..when we have to ,then we have to..there is no room for weakness then..our survival instincts keep us going..”
Partially I agree with her that yes when we have to then we have to and of course we can survive..but then its just survival, its not living…

Living is when you can smile seeing somebody else happy,somebody Else’s grief brings tears to your eyes, you rejoice in somebody Else’s success..a life lived for and with others is a life lived worthwhile.

And today these bondings of the heart and relationships of years break in seconds.. Reason??? MISUNDERSTANDING!

What is misunderstanding? When we try to convey something and something else gets conveyed, ideas get jumbled up, misconceptions are formed and we chose to drift away from people whom we least want to. For me misunderstanding has its literal meaning ..yes..its not a wrong interpretation of thought,words or intentions but a lack of understanding as the word rightly conveys- the understanding is missing and this takes place when we stop listening,we stop talking,we stop thinking, when we stop making that extra effort to go a little deep into things and taking that extra step and conveniently accept what appears on the surface..and let go off our precious ones. I guess all of us have misunderstood someone or the other in our life or have been misunderstood by someone. Communication is the answer but so does an explanation always justify everybody..  may be not..and at times a wrong question asked in a wrong manner,at the wrong time proves to be the biggest question mark on a relationship and the trust on which it is formed, may leave behind a scar forever and apologies and time don’t always heal all wounds.

So if you say to someone “I trust you” then make sure you do.
If you say “I understand” then at least try to.
If you say “I am there” then show that you care.

We all have some beautiful bonds with some beautiful people in our lives. Lets value those special souls and those special relationships and handle them with love and care and not allow a stupid misunderstanding to creep in and create distance between hearts because if we let that happen then later we might be missing the only person who understood us…….!

P.S : It sounds like a serious post, but witnessed a few people ruining their relationships, losing their special people and saying “there had been some misunderstanding”…sounds simple but is hell difficult when we have to go through it. I know everything in life does not have a solution and not everybody is worth staying in our lives but as the famous saying goes “Sometime later we realize that we lost diamond while we were busy collecting stones”. So be careful..don’t take your loved ones for granted and show them that you value them and remember no misunderstanding is bigger than a true relationship.. [sorry for a boring lecture…just wanted to share an opinion]..God bless you all !!

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